Being With a Younger Man: Love, Compatibility, and Letting Go of Outdated Beliefs
She leaned over to me and whispered, “What’s it like to be with a younger man?”
Her eyes twinkled as she winked at me.
My husband had just left the room as a woman delivered some mortgage paperwork to us. She had seen our birth dates and done the math.
I froze.
I had to think for a moment because I often forget that my husband—my soulmate, my favourite human being on the planet—is 14 years younger than me.
I’ll admit, at the beginning, our age difference was a significant barrier for me.
I struggled with the part of myself that held outdated beliefs—that it was acceptable for a man to be older, but questionable for a woman.
Societal programming taught me that if I were with a younger man, I would be labelled a cougar or a cradle robber (both of which I’ve been “teased” about), rather than seeing deep compatibility and alignment with my partner.
I get it. I can own my judgments—and I love challenging my beliefs and biases.
As I reflect, I realize the real question isn’t about age gaps at all. It’s about authenticity, meeting needs, and taking another person’s wants, boundaries, and values as seriously as your own.
What I’ve learned is that most judgments about relationships have far more to do with conditioning than compatibility.
If an 85-year-old man and a 35-year-old woman are self-aware, vulnerable, authentic, and honest with each other—and that arrangement works for them—who am I to judge?
They may very well have a happier and more fulfilling relationship than people who enter partnerships based on chemistry alone, while ignoring deeper alignment and unspoken needs.
It’s fascinating how, as I evolve through this temporary human journey, my expanding awareness makes me giggle at the outdated parts of myself that once believed it wasn’t okay to marry a younger man.
These days, I care far less about what others think than I used to.
I’m curious about people’s opinions, but I no longer feel shame—and that alone is a profound shift from my past self.
It was never about what others thought.
My husband is younger, successful, intelligent, funny, kind, and deeply compassionate.
He adores, cherishes, and appreciates me—and I do the same for him.
We all deserve safe, fun, fabulous, and fulfilling relationships.
True connection transcends age. Genuine love thrives on compatibility, mutual respect, and understanding.
It’s not about needing another person to complete us.
It’s about 1 + 1 = 10.
We grow, learn, laugh, and cry together—and that, to me, is a beautiful thing.
If you’re navigating connection, alignment, or growth in your own life and want support, I’m here.
Together we heal.
Together we grow.
Together we evolve.
Love and gratitude,
Sandy
